While reflection on past failures is necessary, planning your next move and moving on is even more important. Running away from failures or trying to avoid them will never teach you anything.
No matter how overwhelmed you might feel, never forget that there are people out there dedicated to helping you overcome failure and move on with your life. Your family's safety and comfort advance when you invite us into your sacred story and the hopes that might flicker. We're ready to support you. We take your history seriously.
Together, anxiety about tomorrow will decrease. Avoid Picking Up Bad Habits Sometimes, people turn to things like drugs or alcohol in an attempt to dull the pain that they feel. Malkoc said that in most real-life situations, people probably have both cognitive and emotional responses to their failures. But the important thing to remember is not to avoid the emotional pain of failing, but to use that pain to fuel improvement.
They make you feel bad. That's why people often choose to think self-protective thoughts after they make mistakes," she said. Materials provided by Ohio State University. Original written by Jeff Grabmeier. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.
Science News. Malkoc, Baba Shiv. Feel the pain: Emotional response to mistake leads to more improvement.
ScienceDaily, 13 September Ohio State University. An area of the brain called the anterior-cingulate cortex ACC becomes active when we experience social distress. It triggers our feelings of pain when we feel rejected. The ACC is also involved when we experience physical pain and it looks like physical and social pain shares some of the same circuitry in the brain. So when we say that rejection can hurt it is because it actually can cause us to feel a type of pain.
So, how does this relate to failure? Well, failure is often interpreted as a rejection by the person that experienced failure. The brain can interpret rejection as a threat to our safety, and this can cause us to feel distressed. The brain can also employ anxiety and depression to try to get you to pay attention to the situation and do something about it.
There is some evidence that depression if it is not sustained for long periods may actually be adaptive because depression can help you sustain concentration on complex problems4. Depressed people typically ruminate on the perceived source of their depression to the exclusion of other thoughts and activities. In a tug-of-war against an immovable force, it makes sense to drop the rope. In several cases, they felt ashamed to admit they were depressed.
The key is that you have to perceive failure as a threat to something important to you. When we experience failure in addition to unpleasant feelings, we may also be subject to unpleasant thoughts. It is often tempting to either try to suppress those thoughts or to try to distract ourselves instead of dealing with them. Think about the people you may know that use television, video games, shopping, or alcohol as coping mechanisms.
So what can we do? Based on the research, I suggest four ways we can work with our biology to shorten the unpleasant period while helping us work on the underlying issue. It really does hurt us personally, and those we work and live with. This pain needs to be acknowledged and given space to be felt and expressed and then, and only then, can we approach the reality of the failing and do something awesome….
We can learn. However, whether it be a minor balls up, or a cataclysmic catastrophe, there is learning in there, valuable and potentially deep, learning. When we, as entrepreneurs, can revisit, reflect on and make sense of our failure, explore what could have been different and how we are now different, then that is when failure becomes our most powerful ally in helping to prepare us for other eventualities that emerge along our personal journeys.
Entrepreneurship and learning require failure, it is inescapable, so we must individually and together embrace this and learn how to better use and make sense of this important part of the entrepreneurial process.
If we accept and share in this reality we can also help, support and share the pain of failing together, which, in my experience, makes a big difference indeed.
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