I also don't usually cook breakfast or lunch either, just dinner. I might get a few special items for the guest that we don't usually consume but other than that it's just our usual groceries.
We also don't school during visits. But we don't usually have frequent guests so this doesn't throw off our whole year's schedule. Depends on 1 how well you fit into each others' lives, 2 how far the guests travel, and 3 how much the guests are willing to do to shoulder the workload.
The first time I couldn't do much to help I was recovering from illness , but the second time I did everything that I could find to do to help. I hope we are welcome to come again. I know we are. Currently experiencing a too long visit. Going on 5th night and tomorrow will be 3rd lost school day. I still did school, but it's more work for me with another guest. So that puts me in a bad mood. I'd be a raving lunatic if I had houseguests stay that long.
Probably more raving than lunatic, but still My moms parents used to come for weeks with no set date to leave and she sticks to the night max visit herself. I get it now. In your case it's time to ask when they are thinking about heading out. And perhaps going camping yourself Dh did give him a key and he let himself in a few times that really annoyed the crap out of me. It will not happen again. I didn't mind that at all. She is lovely Are they coming to visit you or using you for free lodging?
We don't have a guest room or sofa bed. There's a lovely DoubleTree about a mile away It all depends upon your relationship with the relatives and your viewpoint on temporary communal living.
My brother-in-law lived with us for three months when he was supervising a project in our city. We did not change our daily routine at all. He kept his space neat and clean and occasionally pitched in to clean the common area.
He provided evening companionship to my husband and kids. Generally I cooked dinner but it was not a guarantee. He would often pick up take out and contributed to groceries. We did not charge him to stay with us because we wanted him to save his per diem to have extra money to send to his wife and children. Family that fits in, for the most part, and helps around and can go out and entertain themselves is easy.
Well, only family we have had visit came from LONG distance, so months is normal for me. But they help out picking up, etc. MIL cooked and helped with laundry. The shortest visit was a cousin of DH who brought his mom DH's aunt and stayed for 1 week. She was lovely and helped cook. ETA: About homeschooling, we do our thing. If they want to go out, we have public transport to the "tourist" areas or DH or I can drop t hem off on our schedule and arrange pick ups. MIL just went out with us.
I like house guests, as long as they aren't imposing. I am clear about what we have to do while they visit. If they can't understand that, they can leave. I like to visit for long periods as well.
Take my entire family out for extended periods of time so our hosts can have some time to themselves. I did stay at my sister's for two weeks this summer, but that was because she had a family crisis and needed help. My parents stayed with us for a little more than two weeks when they visited us in Kyrgyzstan, but when you go that far to visit someone, it's not for a quick trip.
Other than that people stay with us for a few days and I plan to enforce that rule in Mexico. We don't get houseguests all that often though, which is nice. Totally depends on the guest. My parents can stay as long as they wish. It's her only chance to see the grandkids. I keep thinking, really? But it's not my family so I feel like I have less of a say. I spend much of the visit trying to clean up after my kidlets and keep our belongings as invisible as possible. The kids love it, and are very close to their grandma, but I feel an undercurrent of stress the whole time we're there, no matter the assurances I get.
I also just miss my house and my space. And having the full range of my belongings at my disposal. My DH and I always stay over at our parent's houses when we visit them. Upto 5 days. So there is no discussion about not hosting them at our house when they want to visit. FIL announced that he is going to stay with us for a week and that we don't need to take time off.
We could decide which week. But any other relatives with children, I would typically host for days. That is enough. Same for friends, unless we would invite them over for a holiday with the both of us.
I did actually tell a friend childhood friend's sister that she and her family could visit us when going on vacation in Norway. But I did not mention how long. I hope she understands that a visit typically lasts days.
Villanelle Magnum Stache Posts: For the general question, I don't think there's a set "too long". It depends on the reason for the trip, frequency of visit, reciprocity, personalities, living situations, and more. I once stayed with my parents for about 6 weeks when I was evacuated from the country where I was living.
They were thrilled to have me home for a while, and to provide shelter during a terrible time. I'm planning a visit this summer and since it is a long, expensive international flight, they want me to stay a while.
I threw at the 10 days figure and my mom seemed disappointed and managed to sneak the phrase "2 weeks" into the conversation. So clearly, long visits are fine. But they have tons of space, I'd like to think I'm generally a low maintenance guest, I do this only every 2 years or so, and their lives continue while I'm there though an occasional tennis game might be skipped or bridge might be moved to someone else's house, but that's entirely their choice and mostly they keep their commitments.
In this particular case, I'd likely decline entirely. I feel like it's easier to just say that it won't work than to say "well, you can come, but only for 5 days". I'd consult my husband since it's about his family, but that would be my initial inclination. What's the reason for the trip?
Are they coming to see you specifically, or are they using you as a hotel while they visit your area or just get away from home for a bit? Regardless, you could include in your email or text some recommended hotels or vacation rentals. Bob's Motel-o-Rama is just down the street and I've heard it's nice and affordable, or here's a link to 3 nearby vacation rentals.
Hopefully one of those will work for you! And let us know when you'll be in town so we can schedule a few nights to get together for dinner or something! High maintenance and spoiled kids would bring down the acceptable time pretty quickly in my book.
I've had a houseguest that I regretted allowing to stay more than an hour obnoxious high-maintenance person that has to complain about everything and make hilarious demands and pretty much takes up an entire house by herself somehow , and one that I'd probably let move in with us if he had to brother in law that fits our personality types perfectly, is very low impact on our household, would rather sleep on the floor than even a couch, and is generally awesome and carefree.
It depends a LOT on their personality, your personality, the kinds of accommodations you can physically offer, and quantity of people. One well-behaved adult who's company you enjoy can have basically no impact on your household, but an adult plus kids, all of them obnoxious?
That would wear you down quickly. It really depends on the people involved. I have one cousin whose whole family is welcome for as long as they want to stay, within reason. They usually vacation for weeks, which is a time-frame that I would gladly host them. Prevention is the key. If anything, this allows you to save face if it comes down to showing them the door.
Have a schedule. Make them aware of when you usually go to bed and get up, so that they can avoid interrupting your sleep. Be firm when trying to get this point across to your guest: you have no intention of lowering your standard of living on their behalf.
Suggest an outing. Offer your guest s a trip to the mall, or simply a walk around the neighborhood. Do something boring. Consider switching from video games to a roaring game of pick-up sticks; or from chatting over drinks to helping you wash your cat. Use body language—gently.
Look busy, or agitated. Fake having to leave. Alternatively, you could pretend another guest is coming to take their place. You could also say you made last minute plans to go on a trip or you need to paint the house.
This is a not-so-subtle way of letting your guest s know the limits. Consider doing so before the guest overstays their welcome, so they know their boundaries in advance. Use a friend. If able, have a friendly guest scoot the impolite guest towards the door.
She will be having her three children and their families stay with her for a week this coming Christmas so she is trying a new approach. Sharing meal responsibilities is a great way to reduce stress. Also relieving stress is noting that it's not necessary to party hearty the whole time the guests are in your home. Hosts also do not need to accompany their guests everywhere. If the guests would like to go clubbing in the city, hosts shouldn't feel obligated to go with them. Even though the guests are on vacation, the host might have to get up for work the next day.
Encourage the guests to go where they wish to go, offer to take them to the train and give them a key to get back into the house. If the visit is an extended one, some time apart might be beneficial. The important thing is to talk about plans for the visit and come up with a schedule that is not too disruptive to your lifestyle.
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